Det första utkastet av den alldeles för långa versionen av det framtida, resoluta mejlet.


my name is Fanny Persdotter, I'm 23 years old and I'm from Sweden. It's a rather funny name abroad, I know. Addidionally, my middle name is Edit, spelled without an H at the end. So once when I traveled home from London, a security guy looked in my passport, laughed and asked me if this was my "real name". Yes. I should add a name that works internationally. Or someone will have to come up with a trust-giving nickname. I like it though, at home I really like it.

Oh my, I have so much to say.

To begin with, I've written a book. There, I said it. That's the reason behind this email. And first of, English is not my native language. So I will need (a lot of) help from a pair of professional eyes. Although, I'm quite good with words. And I'm pretty sure that that goes for all the two and a half languages I know. Some better than others.

I wrote the first draft on this email when the book wasn't more than ten pages long. And still had it's working name "The Book". I've spent a year using the imagination of myself after the book has been released as my make-myself-fall-asleep-thought. In interviews in my mind I answered made up reporters on made up questions about my process of writing this debut novel. And about myself as a writer and as a person. Like what's the wierdest thing you've got at home? Or do you have any tattoos? 

I've always known that I love storytelling. And words. And writing. My friends and family are tired of me saying "Can you please just listen to this thing I wrote just now, I'll be quick." I'm also probably my hometowns most regular cinema customer. And I've seen most of the Behind the Scenes clips on Youtube. The year of 2017 I misstook my love for writing and watching movies for a love of making movies, and I went to study Practical Filmmaking at Stockholm Filmschool, where I learned a bit about all the components it takes to make a movie. And how much work you need to put in. At the end of the second semester (one out of two years) my headmaster brought me in to his office, sat me down on a chair at the opposite side of his desk, and he said to me "You're good at stories and you're an excellent writer. I feel things when I read your scripts. But if you want to make a movie, go write a book." 

I should have known right away that the film industry wasn't my thing. I love the stories, but not that type of working environment. Elbowing yourself forward. No, I love sitting at home at my kitchen table and writing it all out. Without budget issues, without people arguing about camera angles or lightening details or catering for the cast and crew. I figured out that I want to be on my own, deciding everything about this story myself. So here I am, with this very first novel of mine in your hands. And another two in the top drawer of my heart.

I heard an interview with Dylan O'brien (Maze Runner franchise, TeenWolf) at Comic Con where he got the question "What advice would you give to somewone who wants to become an actor like you?" He answered that; You need to understand that becoming famous is just a biproduct of doing something you love. Explornig your passion. You're never going to make it in this business if your goal is walking the red carpet. 


So I thought to myself that this imagined picture of myself in the film industry in Hollywood is really just a dream of being noticed, that happened to take the shape of Hollywood. D.W. Winnicott once said that "Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide".That's probably the most on-point thing I've ever heard. I
 haven't written this book because I want to make it to Hollywood. Or because I ever wanted to make a movie at all. I wrote it because I love words, feelings and the story that I've created in my head. Because I love the feeling of being so absorbed by the current thing I'm writing that I forget that i need to sleep. I love when I have to stop in the middle of doing something to write something down in my phone to "not forget to write about it". I love the process of writing. I also want everyone to read it. I want to communicate. To be noticed. Not for who I am but for my words. And I admit that the reason why I decided to write it in English in the first place, is because I want to reach out further. And due to that all the story influences I've gotten is in English, it just didn't sound right in Swedish. I also felt like the possibility of it being translated by someone else would probably make it a book with more accurate English, but it wouldn't be my words.

So you, reading this whether you're a Book Agent, a Creative Producer, a Excecutive Producer or just a normal person at an ordinary position. If you have a Book Agency or a Publishing Company. Then Hi, my Name is Fanny Persdotter. I wrote the first five pages of this book approximately five years ago, in Swedish. I own a tear stick, you know those which actors sometimes use to make it easier to cry on demand. And I have a small tattoo on the left side of my ribs which says "Älskling, jag vet hur det känns", which means "Darling, I know how it feels." It's from a song a
nd it means a lot to me. Mostly it means that I know feelings. Just as well as I know words.

All I want is for you, and everyone else, to read this. In a physical version with bindings and my name on it. And I really do believe that it has a chance of surviving out there. Maybe even do more. I'll attach the first twenty pages in this email. And once you've read it, I deeply hope that you want to read the rest. This is my lifes work.

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